Skin Deep :: Self Image Beauty Essays

Skin Deep We drove all the way down to New Jersey. We usually reserve NY/NJ trips for Korean grocery shopping and long weekends. It was a perfectly nice March day out—brisk, but sunny, with just enough warmth for a light jacket. This was my dad’s idea. I was pretty against the whole thing, but I decided to give it a try; it wouldn’t hurt to try, would it? Ever since I was young I have had scars on my face from a severe case of chicken pox. The doctors worried that my face would be scarred much worse than it is. They gave my parents two options—sand my skin down to create smooth skin which could potentially cause worse scars and redness in cold temperatures, or do nothing and hope that the scars would disappear over time. My parents, hoping for the best, went with the latter choice. And some 18 years later, my father questioned this decision. Dr. Grace Kim got her bachelor of science in biology from MIT in 1995. My father found her office advertisement in the Korean community newspaper. She shared her office in Inglewood, NJ with two other doctors whose degrees from prestigious universities hung like graffiti on the walls. The office was softly lit and had a sort of Zen themed feel to it with bamboo shoots, rocks, stone tables, all classily done. The magazines spread across the rock table tops were plastered with skinny young Korean girls with perfect chins and tiny frames. I could sound out the words on the cover: â€Å"ooh-manz sen-suh† or â€Å"Women’s Sense.† The door opened and my name was called. My scars never really bothered me. I can remember the few instances when someone had noticed them and asked about them. But having someone specifically appointed to sit, stare, examine, and evaluate what â€Å"your biggest problem areas are† is not the highest rung on the self-esteem ladder. There are some days I don’t even notice my scars; then again, there are days they seem to pop off my face eclipsing my otherwise clear complexion. Dr. Kim’s remedy for my scars was to cut the â€Å"more noticeable ones† using a very precise eyelet cut, stitch, then after healed, use laser technology to smooth the scarring from the stitches. Each eyelet cut would cost $200 and â€Å"with my condition† could cost over $2000. But before any services could be rendered, her exclusive line of skin emulsifying products must be used 6 weeks prior to surgery.

Celibacy and Catholic Priests Essay

In today’s world, many wonder why Catholic priests can’t get married and have a family of their own. This issue and question can be boiled down into one word: celibacy. Being celibate is defined as being â€Å"One who abstains from sexual intercourse, especially by reason of religious vows,† according to thefreedictionary.com. This definition is not understood by many because the thought of having a life without sex is unbearable, especially in today’s society. By exploring this topic in depth, one can understand why celibacy is an important factor of the Catholic priesthood. According to Father Kenneth Doyle of the Catholic News Service, priests hold this sacred vow for three particular reasons: it closely resembles Christ Who was unmarried, it shows and proves that love can be present without being physical, and it allows a man to give all of his energy to the Lord rather than to a family. In understanding how celibacy became so important, we have to look at its history, particularly at the third, fourth, eleventh, and sixteenth centuries, according to John O’Malley in his article Some Basics About Celibacy (8). In the third century, within the early Church, many priests and even most of the apostles of Jesus were men with wives and families. It was a common feature among the early Church, and even some of the Holy Fathers, or Popes, were known to be married and have children. It is clear that during this time period, the patristic era and early Middle Ages, celibacy was not enforced and not important within the Church. Early in this century, Constantine’s recognition of Christianity brought about status change for all Christians: because they were not being oppressed and martyred they looked for new ways to follow Christ and challenge themselves to give their lives for Him. John W. O’Malley writes, â€Å"With St. Jerome (345-420), as well as many others, virginity for those espoused to Christ began to be extolled with new fervor and consistency.† This became the building block for legislation and more teachings on the subject of celibacy (9). O’Malley points out that the fourth century brought about more change for Christians as they came out of hiding in the catacombs (9). The Council of Elvira was held in 305, which consisted of nineteen bishops as well as a number of priests, deacons, and laypeople. O’Malley writes that Canon 33 was a product of this council and that it was the first piece of legislation that dealt with the issue of the clergy and marriage. It reads: It has seemed good absolutely to forbid the bishops, the priests, and the deacons, i.e., all the clerics in the service of the ministry, to have relations with their wives and procreate children; should anyone do so, let him be excluded from the honor of the clergy. (9) This decree changed things, because it made a tradition into a law, and any who violated it would be punished. This decree was really meant to put continence or self-restraint on married clergy, because the idea of mirroring Christ and having complete dedication to the sacraments was becoming more important, as well as trying to lead by example as clergy to the laypeople. This was very important in setting up what would change in the eleventh century as more authoritative figures wanted to establish order and set things right within the Church (9). According to O’Malley, the eleventh century sought to recover from the Dark Ages and was able to retrieve patristic era canon law collections (10). These recovered canon law collections contained laws related to the idea of celibacy and acted as maps or blueprints for a series of holy and zealous popes for thirty-five years, who were determined to set order in the Church and society (10). During this time the papacy established a rule of authority and power, which far surpassed anything that preceded it, and began reforming the Church. The reformers had the main goal of trying to get the clergy’s behaviors and actions to mirror the ancient canon laws interpreted by the reformers, and were striving to make the clergy and the Church more holy in nature. One of the greatest popes in history was Pope Gregory VII who came into office towards the end of the movement. Thanks to his efforts, the law of celibacy began to appear in the form that would most resemble today’s form, which is the prohibition of the ordained from being married before or after ordination (10). The sixteenth century saw the beginnings of the reformation, where the idea of celibacy was challenged and questioned by Luther and others, who broke away from the Church and who were also married. The Council of Trent was the Church’s response to the Protestants; it solidified what celibacy means today for the Church and condemned three thoughts on celibacy. According to O’Malley, these were as follows: â€Å"First, that clerics in major orders and religious priests who have made a solemn vow of chastity can validly contract marriage; second, that the regulation of celibacy is a disparagement of marriage; and third, that those who, after making a solemn vow of celibacy, cannot observe it are free to contract marriage† (11). O’Malley points out that the law has been modified. Canon 277, which is observed and practiced today, reads: Clerics are obliged to observe perfect and perpetual continence for the sake of the kingdom of heaven and therefore are obliged to observe celibacy, which is a special gift of God, by which sacred ministers can adhere more easily to Christ with an undivided heart and can more freely dedicate themselves to the service of God and humankind. (11) Continuing to dive deeper into the topic of celibacy, it is important to make a distinction between the Catholic teachings of dogma and discipline. According to Catholic Answers, dogmas are teachings within the Catholic Church that will never change, and a discipline can change. As Catholic Answers points out, because of the many different variations of celibacy in the Eastern Rite Catholics, Orthodox and Oriental Christians where married priests are quite common, celibacy is a disciplinary rule, not a dogma like the Trinity is. Of course there are rules and regulations on marriage and being ordained in those areas that have married clergy, but it is the tradition in the Western or Roman Catholic Church that their clergy take a vow of celibacy; exceptions can be made for Roman Catholic Priests who are married because they converted after being Lutheran or some other denomination. Many Fundamentalists attack celibacy as being a discipline or practice that goes against the Holy Bible and against nature itself because Genesis 1:28 says to, â€Å"Be fruitful and multiply.† As Catholic Answers points out, many also argue that celibacy itself leads to perversion or that it can cause illicit sexual behavior, which is simply not true. It is true that many people are called to be married in their lives, but Catholics Answers states, â€Å"†¦The vocation of celibacy is explicitly advocated—as well as practiced—by both Jesus and Paul†. Thus, it is easy to see why celibacy is a very intricate and important part of the priesthood, because it allows the priests to be more like Jesus and have a more connected relationship with the Father and the people they minister to, just like Jesus Himself. Paul understands the importance of celibacy and complete dedication to the Lord by saying in First Corinthians 7:32-34 that, â€Å"I should like you to be free of anxieties. An unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But a married man is anxious about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and he is divided†. Being celibate is neither unnatural nor against the Bible. Jesus and Paul practiced and advocated it in their times; clearly, it is not wrong. Catholic Priests are extremely important in today’s world because they provide us with the seven sacraments: Baptism, Eucharist, Reconciliation, Confirmation, Marriage, Holy Orders, and Anointing of the sick. Being celibate helps priests to perform these sacraments in the most holy manner and with complete connection to God. Unfortunately, in today’s world the idea or discipline of celibacy is becoming something that is very hard for some to understand and practice, even for priests. In her article entitled On the Verge of Ideological Mutiny: Celibacy and the Roman Catholic Priesthood, Cathleen M. Falsani said that, â€Å"The debate about mandatory celibacy for priests raises ire and eyebrows, as the Roman Catholic Church experiences a daunting shortage of priests and a declining interest in religious vocations, while stories of sexual indiscretion and abuse abound† (16). It is true that today, many people blame celibacy as the main cause of shortages to the prie sthood and many argue that celibacy shouldn’t be forced onto someone and instead be a personal choice. This issue takes a toll on the entire Church and can threaten the availability of the Mass and sacraments if shortages of priests continue (16). Many also take the Church’s view on sex as a negative thing in that sex is a bad thing and that its only use is to create children, which is why many believe that celibacy is in place for Catholic priests, according to Falsani and Bob McClory a former Catholic priest (16). As Falsani points out, the Church has responded to this view with Blessed Pope John Paul II’s papal letter which stated that, â€Å"The heart of a priest, in order that it may be available for this service, must be free. Celibacy is a sign of a freedom that exists for the sake of service†¦Ã¢â‚¬  (17). This really is what celibacy for those in the priesthood is all about: it allows them to be focused and be married to the church and God in a way that many simply many can not comprehend nor understand. It is about complete sacrifice and giving of one’s self for the greater glory of God and heaven, which allows them to administer and perform the seven holy sacraments in a way that reflects Jesus Christ Himself and His apostles who followed Him and gave up their lives for Christ’s glory. Yes, many of the apostles may have been married; nonetheless, they began to develop a greater love and meaning to what it means to be a servant of the Lord to others and to truly give up their lives in service to Him. Celibacy is not against Church teachings. Contrary to many people’s beliefs, it actually helps strengthen and reaffirm practices within the Catholic Church and proves that life is possible without giving in to worldly desires. In his article Why Celibacy Makes Sense, Robert Barron says that, â€Å"Celibacy†¦is a form of life adopted by people in love with Jesus Christ† (19). This is exactly what drives priests in their ministry and enables them to continue their work with great fervor and zeal. The Catholic priest is a person who is able to prove that being in control of one’s own desires is possible, especially in a world that is filled with sex around every corner. They are able to be that bright light within the darkness that emulates Christ and His purity and love. Imagine if Roman Catholic priests were all allowed to be married in today’s world. This would not raise any eyebrows like it does now; instead, it would just be another thing that is am ong the norm in society. However, it is precisely because of this abnormal thing called celibacy that people do raise their eyebrows at these holy men living in a world that desperately needs people to stand out and be different than what society expects them to be. This is exactly what Jesus did. He was someone Who stood out like a sore thumb during His time, but this allowed Him to lead by example and show everyone who turned their heads that a life with Him and the Father was worth living, no matter how different it was from everyone else’s in society. In The Theological Basis for Priestly Celibacy, the theologian Max Thurian writes, â€Å"Observing celibacy for the sake of the kingdom of heaven does not mean being any the less a man; by renouncing a natural form of existence, the priest discovers life in all its fullness. Christ was certainly no less of a man because he did not have affections other than those for his brethren, and a bride other than the Church.† This sums it up very well: priests try to be leaders of men and are fully committed and faithful to their bride, the Church, and to the flock of people that they minister to. The call to celibacy and the priesthood is a supernatural one, and one which the world sees as unnatural. Contrary to popular belief, celibacy and the call to be a priest is not for those men who have no attraction to women, because like everyone else, priests are human beings and men who still have wants. In his study entitled Seminarians Today, Paul Stanosz writes that sociologists Dean Hoge and Jacqueline have reported that seminarians and young priests view themselves as, â€Å"Men set apart† (19). Many priests are men who really wanted to have a family and children but decided to heed the call to sacrifice this desire and instead be fathers within the Church. The most important tool for priests and seminarians to stay strong in their training and ministry is personal prayer, and Paul Stanosz writes that, â€Å"When asked what they looked forward to as priests, the students mentioned having time for personal prayer and for leading others in prayer† (22). The main reason that seminarians and priests enjoy their personal prayer so much is that they are able to enter into a deeper prayer state because of their total commitment to the Church and not to a wife or children. Celibacy is a practice that allows priests and seminarians to be more connected with the Lord, and thus they can enjoy prayer more and get more out of it. In fact, they can draw others to it as well, because of their mirroring of Jesus Christ’s life and their connection to their unique calling. This truly makes Catholic priests â€Å"Men set apart† and is exactly what is needed in today’s world and what needs to continue within the Roman Catholic C hurch (19). As we have examined, celibacy is a topic that many do not understand because it is one that goes against the social norms of today’s society. Ultimately, it is a very big sacrifice and one that is necessary for Roman Catholic priests to effectively minister and be different from every other man in society. It is something that creates a unique bond between the celibate priest and his ministry and continues a tradition that has been handed down through history and advocated by the Church’s most prominent leaders. As mentioned at the start of this paper from Father Kenneth Doyle, celibacy allows for priests to closely resemble Jesus Christ as the leader and model of the church, it allows for love to exist and be present without being physical, and it allows priests to focus all their energy on the Church rather than on a family or children. This commitment is very grave in nature. According to the Catholic encyclopedia at newadvent.org, during the beginning of the priestly candidates’ ceremony, the bishop tells them just how significant this commitment is by saying the following: You ought anxiously to consider again and again what sort of a burden this is which you are taking upon you of your own accord. Up to this you are free. You may still, if you choose, turn to the aims and desires of the world. But if you receive this order it will no longer be lawful to turn back from your purpose. You will be required to continue in the service of God, and with His assistance to observe chastity and to be bound for ever in the ministrations of the Altar, to serve who is to reign. This is what it means to be celibate: to go against the grain and serve the Lord and the Church with all that one can offer as a priest and as a true man and disciple of Jesus Christ. Bibliography Barron, Robert. â€Å"Why Celibacy Makes Sense.† Commonweal 132.14 (2005): 17-9. ProQuest Religion. Web. 17 Oct. 2012. â€Å"Celibacy and the Priesthood.† Celibacy and the Priesthood. N.p., 10 Aug. 2004. Web. 15 Oct. 2012. . â€Å"Celibate.† The Free Dictionary. Farlex, n.d. Web. 15 Oct. 2012. . Doyle, Father Kenneth. â€Å"CatholicPhilly.com: News from the Archdiocese of Philadelphia, Powered by The Catholic Standard & Times and Phaith Magazine.† Explaining Celibacy for Latin-rite Priests. N.p., 24 July 2012. Web. 15 Oct. 2012. . Falsani, Cathi M. â€Å"On The Verge Of Ideological Mutiny : Celibacy And The Roman Catholic Priesthood.† Daughters Of Sarah 22.1 (1996): 16-19. ATLA Religion Database with ATLASerials. Web. 17 Oct. 2012. Griffin, Patrick. â€Å"Rites.† The Catholic Encyclopedia. Vol. 13. New York: Robert Appleton Company, 1912. 11 Sept. 2012 . O’Malley, John W. â€Å"Some Basics About Celibacy.† America 187.13 (2002): 7. Academic Search Premier. Web. 17 Oct. 2012. Stanosz, Paul. â€Å"Seminarians Today.† Commonweal 132.14 (2005): 19-23. ProQuest Religion. Web. 21 Oct. 2012. Thurian, Max. â€Å"The Theological Basis for Priestly Celibacy.† The Theological Basis for Priestly Celibacy. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 Oct. 2012. . â€Å"The Catholic Holy Bible: New American Bible.† The Catholic Holy Bible: New American Bible.

Homeschool Stress

Homeschooling is a big responsibility and commitment. It can be stressful, but far too often we homeschooling parents make it more stressful than it has to be.   Are you guilty of stressing out yourself or your kids unnecessarily with any of the following? Expecting Perfection Expecting perfection in yourself or your children is certain to put unnecessary stress on your family. If you’re  transitioning from public school to homeschool, it’s important to remember that it takes time to adjust to your new roles. Even if your children have never  attended a traditional school, transitioning to  formal learning  with young children  requires a period of adjustment. Most veteran homeschooling parents would agree that this period of adjustment can  take 2-4 years. Don’t  expect perfection right out of the gate. You may be caught in the trap of  expecting academic perfection. is a  popular phrase among homeschooling parents. The idea is that you’ll stick with a topic, skill, or concept until it is completely mastered. You may hear homeschooling parents state that their children get straight A’s because they don’t move on until the skill is mastered. There is nothing wrong with that concept  Ã¢â‚¬â€œ in fact, being able to work on a concept until a child fully understands it is one of the benefits of homeschooling. However, expecting 100% from your child all of the time can be frustrating for you both. It doesn’t allow for simple mistakes or an off day. Instead, you may wish to decide on a percentage goal. For example, if your child scores 80% on his paper, he clearly understands the concept and can move on. If there is a certain type of problem that caused a grade less than 100%, spend some time going back over that concept. Otherwise, give yourself and your child the freedom to move on. Trying to Finish All the Books We homeschooling parents are also often guilty of operating under the assumption that we have to complete every single page of every piece of curriculum that we use. Most homeschool curricula contain enough material for a typical 36-week school year, assuming a 5-day school week. This doesn’t account for field trips, co-op, alternative schedules, illness, or a myriad of other factors that could result in not completing the entire book. It’s okay to finish most of the book. If the subject is one that is built on previously-learned concepts, such as math, chances are that the first several lessons of the next level are going to be review. In fact, that’s often one of my kids’ favorite aspects of starting a new math book  Ã¢â‚¬â€œ it seems easy at first because it’s material they’ve already learned. If it’s not a concept-based subject  Ã¢â‚¬â€œ history, for example -  chances are, you’ll come back around to the material again before your kids graduate. If there is material that you feel you simply must cover and you’re clearly not going to have time, you may want to consider skipping around in the book, dropping some of the activities, or covering the material in a different way, such as listening to an audiobook on the topic while running errands or watching an engaging documentary during lunch.​ Homeschooling parents may also be guilty of expecting their child to complete every problem on every page. Most of us can probably remember how happy we were when one of our teachers told us to complete only the odd-numbered problems on the page. We can do that with our children. Comparing Whether you’re comparing your homeschool to your friend’s homeschool (or to the local public school) or your kids to someone else’s kids, the comparison trap puts everyone under unnecessary stress. The problem with comparison is that we tend to compare our worst to someone else’s best. That causes self-doubt as we focus on all the ways we don’t measure up rather than capitalizing on what we’re going well. If we want to produce cookie-cutter kids, what’s the point of homeschooling? We can’t tout individualized instruction as a homeschool benefit, then get upset when our kids aren’t learning exactly what someone else’s kids are learning. When you’re tempted to compare, it helps to look at the comparison objectively. Is this something your child should probably know or be doing?Is it something that would benefit your homeschool?Is it a good fit for your family?Is your child physically, emotionally, or developmentally capable of performing this task or accomplishing this skill? Sometimes, comparing helps us identify skills, concepts, or activities that we would like to incorporate in our homeschools, but if it’s something that doesn’t benefit your family or your student, move on. Don’t let unfair comparisons add stress to your home and school. Not Allowing Your Homeschool to Evolve We may start out as staunchly school-at-home parents, but later learn that  our  educational philosophy is more  in line with Charlotte Mason. We  may  begin  as radical unschoolers  only to discover that our children prefer textbooks. It is not uncommon for a family’s homeschooling style to change over time, becoming more relaxed as they get more comfortable with homeschooling or becoming more structured as their  children grow older. Allowing your homeschool to evolve is normal and positive. Trying to hold on to methods, curricula, or schedules that no longer make sense for your family will likely put undue stress on you all. Homeschooling comes with its own set of stress-inducers. Theres no need to add more to it. Let go of unrealistic expectations and unfair comparisons, and let your homeschool adapt as your family grows and changes.